Miscellaneous and Random Things

Okay, I realized just now that I might have introduced this blog, but in a shallow way; I didn't actually say what the real purpose in even having one is for me. Maybe I didn't truly know it myself until I noticed that after only two posts, one of which hardly counts, I'm already creating another pile of worthless scribblings. To publish essays, articles, book reviews - that's all very well; but the blog will have no heart in it if that's all it contains. Particularly if the essays are horrible academic ones. I've read some blogs over the last couple of years that have touched me deeply and even changed my life, though perhaps not in drastic, perceptible ways. Most of them detail the daily lives of people that matter, people who have something really meaningful to say, people with incredible odds against them but who still take great joy in life. I don't believe I have incredible odds stacked against me or any really amazing stories to share with the world, but I have passion, and hopes, and fears, and perhaps a teaspoon of knowledge and experience, and a keen desire to make a difference in this world before I leave it, even if it's only to a few people. This blog is merely a medium, a means to many possible ends, and that is its whole purpose.
And now, with that in mind...

First some advice for future college students: ***DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO SUBMIT YOUR APS.*** I have done so...they still aren't all in...and I have learned the hard way that the longer you wait, the better your chances of being absolutely, gloriously screwed. There's still hope for me - a fair amount, actually - but honestly, my dear brothers and sisters in pre-college insanity...it is not worth the stress. If only I had really listened to the many friends who tried to tell me so. UNCG is my first choice of school. I've gotten a letter of acknowledgement and a little ID card from them, which I'm assuming is a good sign. Then today at church, I spoke with a friend who is quite a successful student there, and she told me that she submitted her ap about the same time I did a couple of years ago, and she still made it in, even with complications. I'm praying. Hard.

Okay, moving on...

I am very happy, because this past Saturday, I got more writing done in a few hours than I have in the last month. All things are possible when one rises from bed at a seasonable hour, a wise woman once said...that wise woman being not-so-wise me. *grins* Seriously, though, I am being showered with blessings I can't believe. First the great idea for this story seems to fall out of the sky and into my brain, and then I find myself invigorated with new passion for my calling. For months before this story, my writing was insipid at best, and at worst, downright awful. I don't know what went wrong or when, but I just tried to do what the professionals say: keep writing even if you don't feel like it. Well, that can only be done for so long before one gets really discouraged. Feeling slightly worthless, I beguiled much time with computer games (one in particular which is very good and will get some stage room here at some point in the future), but my mood continued to spiral steadily downward because of the lack of motivation to write productively. Then something wonderful happened. I found myself participating in a collaborative story. At first my goal was to help one of my very best friends deal with some stuff in her own life, and writing this story seemed to be cathardic. But gradually I was reawakened. I realized just how much when she found out my reasons and threatened to kill the story on the spot...and I reacted with horror and a stab of grief and even a little fear. The collaboration is still going on and is tremendous fun, but lately I've been hungering to work on this wonderful gift - this idea that has such great potential that it must surely be a godsend. It couldn't possibly have come from me, after all; I'm not that good. *grin* I tried, but I was in the midst of a fairly creepy part and would end up having to stop, incapacitated by shivers of horror, after only a few minutes of writing. By Saturday I had finally gotten past all that, and now...I can't remember the last time I felt this free! It's amazing! I will be facing a lot of challenges in this story, doing things I've never done before, turning my back on the convention of "writing what I know," and exploring unknown territories (literally and figuratively), but my excitement is definitely outweighing my lack of surety.

Coming hopefully soon: an article on writing what you don't know.